Menu:

 
Anyway
by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable
Illogical and self-centered. 
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, 
People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, 
You will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, 
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, 
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, 
People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, 
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, 
It is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
 
 
In the last year, I've reflected on life's big issues, following my wife's cancer and chemotherapy treatments. I have found it healthy to ask myself these profound questions while reviewing the validity of my automated answers. This list comes from Sam Keen. 

Enjoy the introspection.
  • What do I really want?
  • What brings me joy?
  • Who am I when I dream?
  • Why do I feel the way I do?
  • What do I fear?
  • Who has wounded me?
  • Whom have I injured?
  • How do I deal with guilt?
  • Do I need to have enemies?
  • How do I forgive?
  • Whom and what will I love?
  • How will I express my sexuality?
  • Who are my people? My family?
  • Where is my place?
  • What is the source of my power? My self esteem?
  • What is sacred? Worthy of respect? Inviolable?
  • For what or whom would I sacrifice my time, my energy, my health, my life?
  • What can I do to lessen the quantity of evil in this world?
  • What are my gifts? What is my vocation?
  • What must I do to die with a sense of completeness?
  • What myth have I been unconsciously living?
  • In what measures are my “values” mere prejudices, my duties blind commitments to unexamined norms?
  • What have I sacrificed to win the approval of others? 
  • What have I sacrificed to become successful?
  • In what ways have I blinded myself, disowned my power, denied my potential?
 
 
I pondered this question, sitting in the depressing oncology department as my wife was getting her 8th out of 12 chemotherapy treatments back in August 2009. Conversations with other cancer patients and their significant others often turned around what was lost with cancer and how their priorities changed.  And then, to insert hope in the discussion, we would talk about what we had left that we cherished.

It felt cliché at the time - you only know what's important once you lose it. But it's true. When I (and they) got stripped of what I we made life 'life', this question had to be answered. And the soul-searching did me some good. 

In the blink of an eye, with one phone call, or with one sentence uttered from the doctor's mouth, the following things can disappear (in no particular order ;) )

- my stuff
- my health
- my loved ones health
- my achievements and distinctions
- my reputation
- my plans
- my social involvement
- my affiliations
- my stuff - bis (I know I already said it, but it's so important sometimes, it bears repeating)

So what's left ? What can I grab on when I feel like Job ?

- my values and my faith
- my resolve
- my REAL friends

Here's one man very touching and eloquent take on it. 
 
 
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was an amazingly talented Renaissance man: author, inventor, printer, politician, satirist, scientist, civic activist, statesman, diplomat, and one of the founding fathers of America.

Part of his considerable legacy was to leave us with brilliant thoughts, inspired by his Puritan background. Most of them have found their way to our common sense, but we forget they came from a man who believed in doing good every day:

- A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Beware of small expenses. A small leak can sink a great ship.
- An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
- Anger is never without a reason but seldom with a good one.
- By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
- Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.
- Half a truth is often a great lie.
- He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
- He that's secure is not safe.
- If you would be loved, love and be lovable.
- Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.
 
 
One of my 4 core values is compassion. I believe it is the one value that truly differentiates us from being self-loving, egoistical people. Our caring and grace for others is the one key to make sure our collective future becomes a livable one.

Last year, Karen Armstrong, a reknown religious scholar, made a plea at TED for a Charter for Compassion: an initiative to 'to restore the Golden Rule as the central global religious doctrine.'

One year later, with the help of TED and 150 000 contributors like you and me from 180 different countries and 4 different languages, Karen's dream is finally becoming a reality.

How different would our businesses be if we applied this charter in our commercial transactions ? in our interpersonal relationships ? with people very different from us ? Here are inspiring examples and a way for us to act on it.

Enjoy the Charter for Compassion.
The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensible to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.
 
 
Michael Josephson has penned a fantastic poem about purposeful living which became very relevant to me in the last year. I wish I had that perspective when I started my first business, so the best I can do is learn it and pass it along ;)


Enjoy.

------
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear. So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

--- Michael Josephson
 
 

I can't tolerate most self-help books. They all seem say the same thing and few of them focus on others as a means of bettering yourself. That's why this book caught my eye.

Keith Ferrazzi, author of NYT and Amazon.com bestseller  'who's got your back' suggests, if you choose to work on a better future, that you must commit to four vows:

1) We've chosen to help others and stop worrying only about ourselves.
2) We've chosen to let our guards down so others can help.
3) We've chosen transparency and candor over politics and BS.
4) We've chosen to hold each other accountable so that we don't fail.

Food for thought.

 
 

Sorry for the silence. Life has been a roller-coaster as we are nearing the end of my wife's chemotherapy treatments. Managing the kids, her well-being, my work, the collective emotions and our relationships has stretched my spirituality as well as my time-management skills. I'll blog about all the lessons learnt when it's all over and the dust has settled.

One of my students at the engineering school I teach Entrepreneurship at, had an interesting quote  that she put at the footer of her emails. I thought it applied well to me when I read it and it applies even more to entrepreneurs caught in a spiral of self-doubt about their choices.

Excellence can be obtained if you :
care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical and expect more than others think is possible !

It reminded me of a little story I read as a child that stuck with me and fueled me on those days when I had nothing left:

A retired business executive was once asked the secret of his success. He replied that it could be summed up in three words: 'and then some'.
'I discovered at an early age,' he said, 'that most of the differences between average people and top people could be explained in three words. The top people did what was expected of them - and then some.

'They were thoughtful of others, they were considerate and kind - and then some.

'They were good friends to their friends - and then some.

'They would deliver on their promises at work, at church and at home - and then some.

'They could be counted on in an emergency - and then some.

'And so it is when we put our trust in God's goodness. He returns our love - and then some.'

 
 

In the last months, I've researched and studied quite extensively the phenomenon of personal branding and all that it entails. From high-flying strategies to down-to-earth tactics, with the help of hundreds of books, blog posts and bookmarked pages, I’ve mindmapped and vulgarized the concept. And I've come to one single conclusion:

It's stupid and false.

The foundational premise found everywhere in personal branding is that we need to identify within ourselves that ONE thing that distinguishes us, that makes us different, that renders us unique in the eyes of the world. I had to find the answer to the riddle : 'I am that (insert something here) guy'. What was it: that digital strategies guy ? that IT entrepreneur guy ? that Christian or church guy ?

After months of too many suggested tests and soul-searching questions later, I became frustrated at my lack of finding that ONE thing to pin everything on. I already knew what my core values were (link) as well as my belief system (link). BUT what was that ONE thing ? What made me special in the eyes of the world surrounding me ?

But wait… who was that world surrounding me ? Who did I need to develop my personal branding for ? Whose my target demographic ? My wife and kids ? My parents ? My friends I grew up with who knew me with all my zits ? My clients ? Anonymous readers on my blog ? My Facebook ‘friends’ ? People I didn't know who see me in conferences ? My students at my alma mater ? And what if I didn’t care about anyone and just focused on what I thought of me ? And what about God… isn't that who I am ultimately accountable to ?

The authors of personal branding applied some age-old marketing principles used for corporations to individual human beings, perpetrating the narcissistic and hazardous notion that we are developing a Me Inc. society. The relationships we end up developing become a matter of ‘what’s in it for Me Inc. ?’ And that is what I dislike about the whole social media wave: the notion that we make ourselves out to be important people by showing off our wonderful belly-button-looking side.

I cannot adhere to the principle that we are defined by ONE thing and that we need to push that image on others as some kind of single source of validation. If we want to sell our expertise and demonstrate our knowledge, fine. But we are so much more than what is in our head.

Therefore, there is not ONE single element that will define me, be it my work, my knowledge, my experience, my values, my relationships, my service, my social standing…whatever.

I’ll look up as the basis for my beliefs, look inward as I try to become a balanced and whole person and then look outward to see who I can help.

 
 

Disclaimer : I know it was a television stunt, but I'm looking at the video as if I was an innocent bystander.

Here's why I think this video demonstrates essential ingredients to making your company (and this world) a much better place:

- They had no shame.
- It was a complete spontaneous surprise.
- There was an obvious concerted effort to please others.
- It started with one person who dared which then grew to hundreds.
- There were no requests of a 'return', it was a gift.
- The receivers (the crowd) demonstrated their stupor and their subsequent approval. They clapped and, most importantly, participated in their own way (check out 2:47).

It answered the fundamental question : 'why would all these people do this ?' ...  with the best answer possible 'because we wanted to'.

And that makes me smile.

Austin (hat tip) rightly called it 'Random Acts of Happiness'.