Of marshmallows and men

I was roasting marshmallows the other day with my kids. While analyzing how the sugary treat reacts to the fire, I couldn't help drawing parallels between that activity and managing people.

For those of you who have never had the joy of marshmallows on the fire, here's what happens :
- You put it on the end of a stick, usually a piece of wood you handcrafted with the pocketknife you brought to impress your friends.
- You bring it near the flame ... and the distance is the secret. Too close, and your marshmallow catches on fire, leaving a black calcined (and some say cancerous) outside crust and a hard middle. Too far, and your patience is what will get burned.
- At the right distance, and by wisely turning the treat with the stick, you get a golden outside color with a very tasty gooey middle. A true delight.

As a manager, I want my people to be entrepreneurial and take initiatives that they think are great for the organization. Which means they will make mistakes. Which means I want them to learn from their mistakes. If they can grow through their mistakes and come out stronger, then that is success - for themselves and the organization.

So I need to learn to let them feel the heat of the consequences of their actions, but just at the right amount. Too close to the flame and they develop a hard black outside crust and keep a hardened middle. Too far from the flame and they never learn. Both cases eventually become nightmarish for me.

The ideal is to make them feel the heat just enough to create a learned experience, an ingrained new habit and a willingness to keep putting themselves out there and be entrepreneurial.

That's when I - and the organization - gets the delicious golden hue with the gooey center.

And then, as I look at my 4 year old, I realize it's the same darn thing with kids...