This is my final post on my grandfather. Today was the funeral service and it was quite touching. Feels good to remind ourselves of real priorities in life. I wanted to share my eulogy (in french).
To be full of hope and thankful of life are 2 characteristics he had... and 2 traits super important to an entrepreneur.
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2 traits me viennent en tète quand je pense à mes souvenir avec mon grand-père. C'était un homme plein d’espoir et reconnaissant.
L’ESPOIR
Pour Geddo, il y avait toujours de l'espoir. On dirait qu'importe la situation qu'il avait devant lui, il y avait cause pour croire que ca allait s’améliorer. Il vivait par le principe de ‘vivre et laisser vivre’, d’accepter les autres comme ils étaient, avec un sourire, une histoire du bon vieux temps et un espoir qu’aujourd’hui sera meilleur qu’hier. Et pour Geddo, ce n’est pas peu dire. Il avait toutes les raisons médicales pour ne pas avoir la longue vie qu’il a eue. Mais malgré un corps brisé par la maladie dans les deux dernières années et un cœur brisé par le départ trop soudain de sa femme, je crois sincèrement que c’est sa vue positive sur la vie – son attitude ‘don’t worry, be happy’ - qui l’a transporté pendant 93 ans. William Shakespeare, un de ses écrivains préférés, a dit : A light heart lives long - Un cœur léger vit longtemps, comme si cette phrase était écrite pour Antoine Farahat.
Quand il vivait avec nous, il se faisait souvent une priorité de ne pas manquer l’émission de télévision ‘The Price is Right’ le matin à 10h. Je pensais que c’était parce qu’il rêvait d’y participer et d’y gagner jusqu’au jour où je me suis trouvé à regarder l’émission avec lui. Il ne cherchait pas à faire parti de l’émission, il aimait voir les autres gagner. Il restait silencieux et attentif jusqu’à tant que l’annonceur disait ‘You win’ et là, un grand sourire se collait à son visage avec un ‘Braaavo’ qui sortait de sa bouche. Et là j’ai compris : il espérait pour eux.
Et il espérait pour nous aussi. Il espérait qu’on soit en bonne santé, qu’on réussisse à l’école, qu’on ait un bon travail, qu’on ne se chicane pas et qu’on apprenne l’arabe pendant 5 minutes par jour. Et, il terminait ses phrases en disant « Ensha’Allah », ce qui signifie Si Dieu le veut en arabe. Tellement il espérait, qu’il a même nommé sa fille, ma mère, Amal – ce qui signifie espoir, en arabe.
RECONNAISSANT
Son espoir et son optimisme était jumelé avec une reconnaissance sans fond. Il ne manquait pas de remercier mes parents pour l’avoir amené chez nous suite à son déménagement de l’Égypte au Canada. Et ca se démontrait par ce qu’il faisait, ces petites actions dans l’ombre.
Geddo passait des heures, voire des jours, à prendre la viande hachée qui était mélangé avec le riz, prendre une feuille de vigne, mettre un petit rouleau de viande dans la feuille, vers le centre de la feuille, rouler le bas de la feuille, rabattre les coins de la feuille sur la viande pour ensuite terminer de rouler la feuille de vigne. Et il répétait ce processus des centaines de fois, jusqu’à tant que le chaudron en était plein ou que ces doigts restaient crispés par le mouvement répétitifs. Et il n’arrêtait pas aux feuilles de vignes, il faisait ca pour enlever les tiges des persils pour la taboulah, il coupait les fruits qu’on avait pour faire la salade de fruit, etc.
En fait, un des ingrédients secrets des recettes succulentes de ma mère, c’est la patience de cet homme. Essayer d’être utile, matin, midi et soir, c’était sa façon de dire merci.
On avait une petite tradition les dimanches après midi où il me demandait d’aller dans sa chambre pour l’aider à répondre au ‘Sweepstakes Readers Digest’, vous savez ces enveloppes qui disaient qu’on avait déjà gagné, et qu’il suffisait de retourner l’enveloppe-réponse avec un abonnement ou l’achat d’un objet parfaitement inutile. Pendant des semaines, je l’aidais à contre-cœur, sachant qu’il ne gagnerait pas, qu’il gaspillait son argent et, surtout, qu’il gaspillait mon temps. Exaspéré, j’ai fini par lui poser la question : ‘Geddo, pourquoi tu fais tout ca ? tu sais que tu ne gagneras pas!’ Et il m’a regardé avec ces yeux qui devenaient humides par l’émotion et il m’a dit : ‘Je sais. Mais si jamais je gagne, je pourrais enfin repayer ta mère pour tout le bien qu’elle m’a fait’. L’espoir et la reconnaissance en une belle phrase : si jamais je gagne, je pourrais enfin repayer ta mère pour tout le bien qu’elle m’a fait. Après ca, je ne me suis plus jamais plaint de l’aider à remplir les enveloppes Reader’s Digest.
Geddo personnifiait ce que l’apôtre Paul disait dans Phil 4 :10 "… j'ai appris à être content de l'état où je me trouve. Je sais vivre dans l'humiliation, et je sais vivre dans l'abondance. En tout et partout j'ai appris à être rassasié et à avoir faim, à être dans l'abondance et à être dans la disette. Je puis tout par celui qui me fortifie."
CONCLUSION
Bessie Stanley en 1903 a écrit une pensée sur ce qu’est le succès. Cette pensée me rappelle de mon grand – père.
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it;
Who has left the world better than he found it,
Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.
Aujourd’hui, l’espoir ultime de ses derniers jours est arrivé : il est dans la présence du Seigneur au ciel, où tout le monde, lui inclus, est un gagnant. Et dans sa reconnaissance débordante, il peut maintenant personnellement dire merci à Celui qui lui à donné la vie et la grâce d’être dans Sa présence.
Ce n’est pas la fin d’une vie, mais le début d’une éternité joyeuse.
My grandfather passed away last night and so I updated the blog post I previously did on him.
He was surrounded by family and leaves behind his daughter Amal and his son-in-law Jean-Marie, his 2 grand children Jean (me) and Michel as well as their wives and 5 great-grand children (Josiah, Caleb, Lukas, Eva and Sara), his brother in law Jean Marcou and his best friend Magdi Iskandar.
R.I.P. Geddo.
When I first started selling IT services in 1997, I was still studying to be a computer engineer. My potential clients would see me as a 'geek' with access to cheap 'geeks' to do the IT work. That branding did not serve me well. It got difficult clients in tough industries that were just working with me because of price alone... not a great unique selling proposition. On top of that, as the true engineer-in-making that I was, I was selling functionalities to clients.
I didn't like it.
That all changed the day I was told that functionalities are worth absolutely nothing until they are matched with a direct benefit to a client - a revelation for me in 1998. So I then developed 4 questions that would help me develop a relationship with my clients and close more deals. These inquiries are simple and have taken many variations over the years, but they have served me well.
Here they are:
- what is your life like now, using your current systems ?
get the pain points and establish relationship
- how would you like your life to ideally be ?
get the dream scenario
- If I could get you there, within specs, time and budget, would you sign with me ?
establish credibility and define projects
- If you don't sign with me now, what's missing ?
identify obstacles and a plan to address them
Relationships instead of Price. Benefits instead of functionalities.
Here is a Visa commercial that demonstrates negotiation in the most creative form I've seen yet. So many subtle lessons here:
- he who has the gold, makes the rules
- the greatest asset in a negotiation is not necessarily money
- it's not over until you have all the desired assets in your hand
- if you can't leave the negotiation table, you lose
- if you are the most creative and innovative, you win
Following my last post, I got to thinking what values I think are the ones that I identify with and strive the most towards.
There are thousands of values out there, and figuring out which ones most clearly defined me is an tough proposition.
My guiding questions in this 'internal audit' were :
- what do I really believe is important to me ?
- what do I think is the best of me that I can show others (while staying true to me of course) ?
- what is it that I want people to think about the type of person I was - when I'm gone ?
- what kind of people do I identify with ?
- what do I think my 3 boys should have as leading moral principles from their dad ?
I came out with 4 C's
- Character : doing what's right
- Compassion : doing it for others
- Courage : doing it no matter the consequences
- Competence : doing it to the best of my abilities
If I can achieve that, I'll be happy.
I met with a VP of a national professional speakers association recently and she asked me an interesting question :
'Jean, if you could spread a message to the world that would exclude religion, sex and politics, what would it be?'
Without hesitation, I answered what, to me, is the biggest issue facing people today and the thing we must be sure before all else :Integrity and our personal values.
I think I realized just how important that was when I said that word so quickly to what should have been a tough question.
I had blogged about it earlier this year, but I invite you to reread the post. I guess now I'll have to further investigate all aspects of it
Stay tuned.
Chrystian Guy (www.cguy.org), a friend of mine and literary artist came up with 4 'hanging approaches' to desperate situations. Impressive how it adequately describes our common reactions, all related to the word 'hang'.
The 4 'hanging' approaches when things go bad
1. Hang in there
2. Hang yourself over with any type of numbing substance
3. Hang yourself - perod
4. Hang up on it.
He then brings it all together in a nice simple package with these words of encouragement for those of you going through tough times:
If you decide on #1, we could meet for #2, trying to avoid #3 and find ways to do #4...
Love it.
I fell on a website which prides itself in demotivating people by making them realize the cold hard reality of life. I admit I was a very fond adept of the Motivation Posters. I would have them all around my offices.
Now that I have lived through too many cycles of entrepreneurship and corporate projects, I'm not as pie-eyes as I used to be. I have a healthy balance (I think) between dreaming of a better world and being a cynic on human nature.
The following is from the despair.com products page. It explains their stance and I've put in this post ALL their demotivating quotes... because they are hilarious and because you'll be too lazy to go read it on their page. Oh, and when I say 'hilarious', that's because it's a 'it's-funny-because-it's-true' thing...
------- from www.despair.com------
MOTIVATION. Psychology tells us that motivation- true, lasting motivation- can only come from within. Common sense tells us it can't be manufactured or productized. So how is it that a multi-billion dollar industry thrives through the sale of motivational commodities and services? Because, in our world of instant gratification, people desperately want to believe that there are simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound.
AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!
Achievement
You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
Adversity
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Agony
Not all pain is gain.
Ambition
The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly
Apathy
If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.
Arrogance
The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
Beauty
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
Bitterness
Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
Blame
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Blogging
Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.
Burnout
Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
Challenges
I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.
Change
When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.
Cluelessness
There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
Compromise
Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.
Conformity
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Consistency
It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.
Consulting
If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
Cust. Disservice
Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.
Cust. Care
If we really care for the customer we'd send them somewhere better.
DaretoSlack
When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
Defeat
For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
Delusions
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
Demotivation
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
Despair
It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
Destiny
You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
Discovery
A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
Disloyalty
There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.
Disservice
It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
Do it Later
The early worm is for the birds.
Doubt
In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.
Dreams
Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
Dysfunction
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
Effort
Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.
Elitism
It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
Failure
When your best just isn't good enough.
Fear
Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea
Flattery
If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
Futility
You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
Get To Work
You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
Give Up
At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.
Goals
It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.
Government
If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
Hazards
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
Hope
May not be warranted at this point.
Humiliation
The harder you try, the dumber you look.
Idiocy
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Ignorance
It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
Incompetence
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
Indifference
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Individuality
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
Ineptitude
If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
Insanity
It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
Inspiration
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
Intimidation
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
Irresponsibility
No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
Laziness
Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.
Leaders
Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.
Limitations
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
Loneliness
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
Losing
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Madness
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
Mediocrity
It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
Meetings
None of us is as dumb as all of us.
Misfortune
While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.
Mistakes
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
Motivation
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
Nepotism
We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.
Opportunity
I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos - and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars...
Overconfidence
Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
Pessimism
Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
Persistence
It's over, man. Let her go.
Planning
Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
Possibilities
With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.
Potential
Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
Power
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
Pressure
It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
Pretension
The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
Priorities
Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
Problems
No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them
Procrastination
Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
Propaganda
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.
Quality
The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.
Regret
It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second
Retirement
Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.
Risks
If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
Sacrifice
Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
Sacrifice (Temple)
All we ask here is that you give us your heart.
Sanity
Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
Strife
As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.
Stupidity
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
Success
Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.
Teamwork
A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
Tradition
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
Trouble
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
Underachievement
The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.
Victory
Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.
Vision
How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?
Whining
If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team.
Wishes
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Worth
Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important
Sebastien Provencher, from praized.com, quoted JG Ballard on his blog and I thought it was worth repeating here. It is interesting to see the relationship between your local Yellow Pages and your society.
Quote of the Day: JG Ballard on the Los Angeles Yellow Pages
June 26th, 2007 by Sebastien Provencher
"I have only stolen one book in my life, and that was a copy of the Los Angeles Yellow Pages, which I took from my suite at the Beverly Hilton hotel. This was in 1987 when I attended the premiere of Steven Spielberg's Empire of the Sun. A Hollywood premiere is an extraordinary event, but in many ways it was outclassed by the LA Yellow Pages, which I read during a bored moment. It struck me that I should hang on to this precious volume which transformed my holiday at the expense of Warner Brothers.
What is interesting about the LA Yellow Pages is the picture it gives of real life in Los Angeles, so different from the glitzy world of film premieres, stars and directors. There are more psychiatrists listed than plumbers, and more dating bureaus than doctors, and more poodle parlours than vets. Like the classified advertisements in newspapers, which provide a picture of the readership, the Yellow Pages of any great city reveals its true underside. The Los Angeles Yellow Pages is richer in human incident than all the novels of Balzac."
- JG Ballard on the subject of holiday reading in The Guardian. -
What's in your Yellow Pages ?
I came across this little bit of sarcastic information on project management steps in my daily web reading. I can't tell you who the author is because it's been copied everywhere without credit... but it's not me.
I do however adhere to these 6 steps when the project is mismanaged and miscommunicated - which I realize is often.
So here are the 6 'real' phases of a project:
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise and Honors for the Non-Participants
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